Cuadrilla Blames Lancashire Earthquakes On ‘Increased Graboid Activity’

Cuadrilla has moved to quash claims that its fracking operations are behind the recent earthquakes in Lancashire, stating that ‘Graboids’ are in fact the cause. Several quakes were detected close to the company’s fracking site in Blackpool this week, only days after drilling resumed. Cuadrilla was originally banned from conducting hydraulic fracturing in 2011, following a high court challenge. That decision has now been overturned.

However, a PR runt sent by Cuadrilla to face the assembled media denied that fracking was behind the seismic activity:

“We understand people’s concerns, and we know the timing looks suspicious,” said company spokesman Jason Bentner. “We start drilling in 2011, and boom – earthquakes. We start drilling again in 2018 and, within a few days, bada bing – earthquakes again. I know it looks bad. But there’s one thing no-one seems to have considered in all this – Graboids.”

Apparently referring to the monsters depicted in the cult movie ‘Tremors’, Bentner continued:

“We feel quite certain that increased Graboid activity in the Blackpool area is what is causing these recent quakes. We would urge all citizens to be on the lookout for Graboids, and to please let the local authorities know if you see one. Do not try to approach or kill Graboids yourself – the best advice is to get to high ground and wait for rescue.”

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