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‘Normal European weather’ alert issued for UK

Visitors from the European continent have been warned to expect completely normal temperatures if they are heading to Britain in the next few days, as the country basks in an extraordinary 30 degree heatwave. While most are heading to the beaches, some have been left wondering whence our country’s obsession with weather comes.

Maria, 29, who has just arrived in the UK from Seville for a wedding, told The Liberator: “These kinds of temperatures are really pretty normal where I’m from, not that remarkable at all. When I got here I saw that you were hosing people down in the streets – why is that? Has there been a chemical leak or something?”

Her partner Richard was equally baffled: “You say no-one’s moving around here because they’re too hot? I thought it must have been a carbon monoxide leak or something. Usually in this kind of weather we just get on with stuff – no biggie, no particular cause for celebration.”

The Liberator tried to reach the Met Office for comment on how long the UK heatwave is likely to last, but was denied access to their building after what happened last time. More as it develops.

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