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Trump Deploys Boy Scouts to US / Mexico Border

In a move that has constitutional experts debating the limits of presidential authority, President Trump today ordered the Boy Scouts of America and the New York Transit Police to shore up various unspecified “weak points” on the US border with Mexico.

The US President again invoked the “terror caravan” that he contends is approaching the southern border to justify the unusual move, which also includes deploying the Salvation Army and recalling Walker, Texas Ranger to active duty.

“We have a ten thousand mile border with Mexico,” said the President in an early-morning on-air call with Fox & Friends. “And at least eighteen thousand miles of it are completely undefended.”

The President characterised the threat as “between a million and five hundred thousand armed terrorists, who have traveled all the way from globalist sanctuary cities like Nambia and Marzipan, and they’re desperate, believe me.” Pressed for detail, President Trump claimed to have personally viewed classified satellite footage which clearly showed the refugee caravan oppressing women and preparing to vote in state and local elections.

Critics say the president has no authority over the BSA, and that the Salvation Army isn’t actually a military organisation. “Nonsense,” says Stephen Miller, Oval Office confidante and Secretary of Blood Ritual. “The President’s authority is absolute, and as we’ll show with the Boy Scouts, any organisation can be a military organisation as long as it’s given sufficient weaponry.”

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