Trade Experts Weigh In On Brexit ‘Down The Pub’

A panel of industry luminaries gathered at the Carpenter’s Arms Saturday afternoon and evening for an intense, unstructured roundtable discussing the intricacies of Brexit. The concluding statements represent an exhaustive roadmap for the British team negotiating a withdrawal agreement with the European Union. Highlights of the committee recommendations include:

Regarding the border in Ireland, the report contends “Weren’t a problem before the EU, won’t be a problem without the EU, neither.”

With respect to the complex issue of rules of origin and validation thereof at point of entry and assembly, the committee’s view is “They just want a kick up the backside, the lot of ‘em.”

On the subject of Fisheries, the panel suggests “Let them French just try and take our fish and chips, I’d like to see ‘em.”

On the question of freedom of movement and rights of EU citizens currently residing in the UK: “Send the lot of ‘em back to bongo-bongo land, I say.”

To protect “passporting” privileges, which allow British financial institutions to operate on an equal footing with European banks and to perform clearing of billions of pounds worth of derivatives traded in euros, the committee’s view is “Let ‘em sod off and good riddance.”

The committee addressed Britain’s disengagement from the Galileo satellite guidance system with “I don’t need no phone telling me how to get down the Arms.”

“All Brexit wants is plain old common sense,” says meeting chair Lionel Binks, quipping “Not so common at Westminster these days though, eh?”

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