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Theresa May “steering Brexit because it isn’t dying fast enough”

Theresa May has taken personal control of the Brexit process in order to ensure that it doesn’t succeed, The Liberator can exclusively reveal today. The Primer Minister appears to have sidelined Brexit secretary Dominic Raab only days after announcing his appointment, with most commentators assuming that May was attempting to force through the so-called ‘chequers plan’

However, an anonymous source close to the Prime Minister revealed a totally different motivation for the change:

“It’s not the ‘firm hand on the tiller’ situation that most people assume. She (May) actually hates Brexit more than anyone, and just wants it to stop. This whole time, she’s been an arch-remainer working undercover. She’s done everything she could to try and kill it from outside DexEU, but it’s just not dying fast enough for her liking, so she’s come up with a plan”

Asked to elaborate on what the strategy for killing off the Brexit process might be, our source continued:

“She’s total shit – she knows that. Everything she touches turns to actual shit. That’s why she wants to take personal control of Brexit. She knows that with her at the helm, it can’t possibly succeed. I can practically hear the sound of deadlocked negotiations already. And once the reality of no deal really starts to hit home with the public, she’s confident that everyone will just say ‘sod it’ and not bother leaving. It’s actually a very shrewd move”

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