Skeletor has emerged as the front-runner in the upcoming Conservative leadership election, slightly edging out Thanos and Boris Johnson into 2nd and 3rd place respectively.
The new poll was conducted by the Conservative Home website, which purports to speak for grassroots conservatives – a small, obscure group of bafflingly vitriolic old people.
When asked who would make a better Prime Minister, Skeletor emerged with 32% of the vote, followed by Thanos on 28% and Boris Johnson on 25%. On the question of who would do a better job of managing the economy, Thanos slipped into third place on the assumption that his plan to wipe out half of all life could harm UK productivity. When asked who would do a better job of containing the threat of He-Man, Skeletor’s advantage increased considerably.
On the final question – “Who would show the most disdain for young people and the environment, while maintaining an archaic status quo that benefits a select few?” – the results were an even split. Respondents explained to pollsters that anyone who’s a Conservative Party member can perform that job adequately.