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EXCLUSIVE – Rail Bosses On Fare Hikes: “Lol You Have No Choice Rofl”

UK rail bosses have responded to the growing controversy over proposed ticket price hikes by saying “Lol you have no choice rofl”. The statement was issued following growing criticism of planned 3.1% increases linked to the Retail Prices Index. Consumers are thought to be wary of the idea of another price hike, amid a backdrop of months of travel chaos and record dissatisfaction with the state of the railways.

However rail bosses seem determined to move ahead with the increases despite the anticipated consumer backlash. Spokesperson James Cairney, acting as a representative of the top rail executive group ‘All the way to the bank’, revealed:

“What the fuck are you going to do about it, get a rickshaw to work? You’re the ultimate captive market, and I think you’ll find we can do whatever the fuck we want with you. So forgive me if I say ‘lol you have no choice rofl’. Oh and might I further add, hashtag sorry not sorry.”

The Liberator tried to obtain further comment from Mr. Cairney, but he strolled off whistling to himself and refused to answer any further questions.

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