In a surprise announcement from Kensington Palace, Prince Charles has turned down the position of King of England, as he fears it may present a conflict of interest. In a rambling handwritten statement, Charles announced that while he was delighted to be king of England, he had also been elected Prime minister. A source at the palace revealed in confidence:
“Oh God. We knew it was a mistake when Prince William asked him to babysit. It was all going well until his majesty read them ‘The Lorax’ at bedtime. Halfway through the magical story about a creature that talked for the trees, the future king of England took all of his clothes off and ran outside into the gardens. It took us hours to bring him in, and he kept mumbling about being elected by the trees. We were going to try and talk him out of it, but apparently the Oaks support a second Brexit referendum. It’s hard to argue with that.”
Prince Harry’s wife Megan Markel apparently approves of Charles becoming Prime Minister, providing that she and Harry can fill in on royal duties, and that Fox can film it.
The Liberator reached out to Prince Charles for comment, but was told that he was not available as he was being pruned. When current Prime Minister Theresa May was asked about being replaced by a raving, naked man, with no belief in democracy, she replied: “Jeremy Corbyn? Oh, you mean Prince Charles. Well, if he wants the job, it’s his.” Mrs. May then promptly climbed out of the window and made a run for it.
Article by Joel Soetendorp (Twitter: @sootyj)