People Who Moan About Heatwave Found To Be Huge Greenhouse Gas Emitters

People who moan about the current heatwave tend to be huge greenhouse gas emitters, new research has revealed today. A study by the Institute for Utter Hypocrisy has indicated that those who find the heat most uncomfortable also tend to be the most clueless about its cause:

“Climate change has arrived” said Stephanie Beale, a spokeswoman for the think tank. “For most people, until very recently, climate change was something abstract, something that was going to happen in the future. But what some people are finally starting to realise in light of the current heatwave is that the planet is actually getting warmer right fucking now”

“However, you also have these other people – the ones who are still just utterly incapable of making that link inside their tiny minds. I’m talking about people who drive a Humvee, but constantly complain if the temperature edges over 21 degrees. People who leave lights and appliances on in every room, then balk at the thought that they need air conditioning. People who fly to Malaga 5 times a year, but moan when our weather makes it too much like Spain”

“Our latest study indicates that this kind of hypocritical bullshit is very real. There is a very strong correlation between how much people moan about the planet getting warmer, and their inability to realise it’s them that’s making it happen”

Asked what these people could do to positively change their behavior in future, Ms. Beale simply replied: “They should basically shut it, and accept what they have wrought on the world”

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