New ‘Wizard Of Oz’ To Feature Orange Son Of A Witch Who’s Scared Of Rain

Warner Sisters studio has defended the controversial decision to produce a new version of classic family favourite and gay icon, The Wizard of Oz. Studio executive Pineapple Leibowitz (no gender) said to our reporter: “Audiences are ready for a new brightly coloured villain, one who hates little girls and immigrants.”

There’s going to be lots of changes in Oz: Toto is now a cat; the Wicked Witch will now not only try and grab some pussy but he’s also turning the Yellow Brick Road into a Yellow Brick Wall. Perhaps the most significant change of all will be the removal of beloved children’s heroes The Tinman, Cowardly Lion and Scarecrow. Pineapple Leibowitz assured our reporter: “Ever since Trump was elected, kids these days associate having no brain, courage or heart with being a bad guy.”

The most significant change is the Wicked Witch will be bright orange and a man. When asked if a new male, orange pussy grabbing witch might be too scary for today’s children, Pineapple Leibowitz responded:

“Not at all. It took a whole bucket of water to kill the original witch, this one’s terrified of little light rainfall. Besides, if the worst comes to the worst she can just stamp on his bone spurs with her Ruby Slippers.”

Article by Joel Soetendorp (Twitter: @sootyj)

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