Michel Barnier found ‘sitting and stroking cat, just like Blofeld’

Michel Barnier has been found sitting in a chair in a grey suit while menacingly stroking a cat, sending the latest clear signal that the EU is evil and hates Britain. In a scene very reminiscent of James Bond villain Blofeld in You Only Live Twice, senior aides to Mr. Barnier found him in the unlikely guise when bringing him preparatory materials for the next round of Brexit negotiations.

An inside source revealed: “We’d gone in to give him some documents he’d asked for, and he was just sitting there, stroking this pure white cat, he’d gone fully Bond villain on us. When we brought him the papers he wanted, he chuckled softly to himself. Then he just said ‘Leave me – and make sure to feed my piranha fish. They do get… ever so hungry’. The whole thing was very strange, I don’t think he meant for us to see him like that. It felt like this was who Michel Barnier really was, and that the person everyone sees on the outside is a mere mask.”

Leading Brexiteers have long suspected that Mr. Barnier is part of an EU-wide conspiracy to completely annihilate Britain, and this latest revelation seems to add weight to their claims. Rufus Bigley, a spokesman for the pro-Brexit think tank Get The Bloody Hell Out Of Europe, commented:

“Frankly, this news doesn’t surprise me. It’s clear that the EU is an inherently evil organisation, bent on destroying our country. This has been evident from the start, in that they won’t give us absolutely everything we want from the Brexit negotiations without us having to concede anything. The EU would have you believe that Mr. Barnier is just looking out for the interests of its 500 million citizens, but the truth is now clear – there’s a much bigger and more sinister plan in the works.”

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