Man ‘Absolutely Fed Up’ With Office banter

It has been revealed that a man working in an office is not particularly fond of what his colleagues consider ‘banter’, and insists he would rather just have a quiet, ordinary time at work. Mark Liverton, 33, from Derby, gave an exclusive interview to The Liberator, in which he revealed:

“I’m just pretty fed up with it, really. It’s gotten especially bad lately with the World Cup. I mean, I love football, but I just hate banter. What am I supposed to do in this situation?”

Speaking of the torment he endures at the hands of colleagues, Mr. Liverton continued:

“Every day, non stop. It’s always ‘bare jokes’, calling this person fat, having to exclaim that I slept with a colleagues wife last night, having to have the same damn conversation about football 10 times over when I was bored with it the first time.”

“At this point I’d really love to just play some classical music throughout the office and just insist that no-one talks at all unless it’s work-related. If I hear the word ‘bants’ one more time, even ironically, I’m going to throw someone out of a window”.

It is thought that Mr. Liverton is not alone, with marked increases in recent years of a condition psychologists are calling ‘banter fatigue’. A spokesman for the British Office Workers Sanity Union told The Liberator:

“It’s tough to be exposed to bants all the time when you’re just not that into it. But it’s all about finding ways to cope. For instance in my office, 90% of the coffee mugs are pure banter – one says ‘No one knows I’m gay’, one has a picture of a purple unicorn on it, you know the kind of thing.”

“Well, every morning I reach past all those novelty mugs and get a shitty normal one. You know, a proper standard plain white one from IKEA. And that right there is my small act of rebellion – ‘no, I’m not going to be part of a joke, I’m going for a completely joyless coffee mug instead’. That clearly sends the message that you’re here to work, not thrash around in an adult ball-pit”.

News | Society | Sport | Weather