The Electoral Commission is today investigating reports of possible collusion between the Leave.Eu Brexit campaign and the Marvel super-villain Thanos. In a fresh blow for Brexiters, whose conduct during the referendum has been under scrutiny due to campaign spending, a statement published today reveals the full details of the inquiry. It alleges that:
*Leave.Eu campaign members and associates, including Nigel Farage and Arron Banks, met with Thanos several times in 2015 and 2016 and kept in touch with him during the referendum campaign
*Thanos offered assistance with the Brexit campain, and asked in return that Leave.Eu help him to construct his Infinity Gauntlet
*Ebony Maw, a henchman of Thanos, may have wielded psychic influence over the British public in order to make some of them believe the now infamous ‘£350m a week’ claim
*After realising they were under the influence of a ruthless malice bent on destruction and domination, Thanos and his Black Order henchmen attempted to back out of the deal
The explosive claims were brought to light by an anonymous whistle-blower, thought to be someone who worked on the Leave campaign but has since become totally pissed off with it all. Of particular interest to the Electoral Commission are the claims of mutual aid between the two – Thanos helping with Brexit and Leave.Eu helping construct the Infinity Gauntlet.
It is understood that Thanos in fact showed deference to both Nigel Farage and Arron Banks, apparently considering the pair to be a far more potent evil force than himself. Banks, Farage and Thanos are known to have met on several occasions, and the trio even developed their own secret greeting: ‘from the ashes, the pure will rise’.
Leave.Eu have so far declined to publicly comment on the allegations, however a spokesman for Nigel Farage called the claims “specious”. The Electoral Commission investigation will report on its findings by January 2019.