Jerry Springer Named as New US Supreme Court Justice

Donald Trump has named talk show host Jerry Springer as his pick for the US Supreme Court, in a bold which is move bound to spark controversy. The decision to appoint the 74 year old Springer, primarily known for his tabloid-style talk show, came as Trump struggled through a shortlist of Supreme Court justice candidates. A source close to the White House said:

“It was really difficult to find a candidate that people could get behind. In the run up, all the talk has been about whether the Democrats would try and block this, the Republicans would try and block that, Roe vs. Wade blah blah blah. Then suddenly, we had this total breakthrough moment.”

“It came when the President was watching a re-run of Jerry Springer, one of his favourite shows. Seeing how persuasive he (Springer) was, how fair and objectively and decisively he dealt with the issues, Trump just got right out of his high-chair, pointed at the TV and said ‘that’s him – that’s the guy.’ And so we put him in for the nomination.”

Details of how Mr. Springer could be appointed to the post despite having no official experience of working within the US justice system remain unclear. It is understood that Judge Judy was also under earlier consideration, but that the fact she isn’t a currently serving judge counted against her. Our source continued:

“Judge Judy – forget it. Turns out she’s not a real judge, at least not any more.. I mean, neither is Jerry, but at least he didn’t misrepresent himself to the American people. We’ll find a way around it, it’s just paperwork. The country needs someone who can make the tough calls, and shape American law for decades to come. I can think of no-one better qualified for that than Jerry Springer.”

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