England Squad Announcement: Some People Are In, Others Are Out

The final England squad has been announced today ahead of the upcoming matches against Croatia and Spain. Fans and pundits alike have been vocal in criticising what the FA have gone and bloody well done now. Some footballers who arguably deserve to be in the squad have been omitted, while other footballers who fans don’t like that much have gotten the call-up. It’s a total fucking mess.

The players that have been included appear to have been selected on the basis that they are physically fit and playing football well at the moment. Those left out of the squad were deemed to be either not playing football very well or too physically buggered to play it at all. Seeking to address the furore over the announcement, the FA has released a written statement:

“We’re well aware that people have their own opinions on who should be in and out of the England squad. The fact is, we choose people who are physically very fit and playing football very well at the moment, as it gives us a better chance to win the games of football we’ll be playing in the next few days. If your knees are shot or you’re a striker that hasn’t scored in years, you’re going to get left out.”

The Liberator enquired as to whether your mate Dave had any chance of getting a look-in as he’s just won his first pro contract, but the FA declined to comment on the issue.

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