Donald Trump’s New Private Members Club To Be Called ‘No Sadiq Khans’

Donald Trump’s next private members club is to be named ‘No Sadiq Khans’, in a move apparently designed to ban the London Mayor from ever being able to attend. The club is currently under construction in Miami, and is expected to open some time in 2019.

After the official groundbreaking ceremony yesterday, a spokesman claiming to represent the Trump estate requested a telephone interview with The Liberator. During the interview the spokesman, who called himself Donald Smith, revealed the unusual name for the new club:

“It’s going to be a great place, a really bigly good place, the best place you could imagine going to. Donald Trump is the most incredible man, the most incredible President, and so he deserves the best. The American people deserve the most winning kind of place. But I’ll tell you who doesn’t deserve the best – Sadiq Khan. Bad guy, terrible, really sad. He defended himself against Trump one time, which was really mean and hurt Trump’s feelings a lot. So that’s why he’s banned from the new place. It’s going to be called ‘No Sadiq Khans’, so he can’t ever come in”.

The name for the club apparently borrows from the childhood concept of ostracising people from your tree-house, usually based on a fear or dislike of children who are different. It would mean that anyone under the name of ‘Sadiq Khan’ is officially barred from entering.

The Liberator can also reveal that every concierge working at the club will be given strict instructions never to let Khan in. Security staff are also being told to keep a continuous watch in case Khan tries to enter wearing a disguise, such as a fake moustache and glasses, or else tries to sneak in through an open window.

When asked whether the ban was a direct response to Mayor Khan’s decision to let the infamous ‘baby Trump’ balloon fly over London during Trump’s recent UK visit, Donald Smith replied:

“He shouldn’t have done that, I can say that with absolute surety. It did not go down well. Donald Trump, let me tell you something about Donald Trump – he is famous, renowned even, for having a huge, huge pee pee. So to see that balloon in the diapers and everything, well let me tell ya – there are some facts there that need checking.”

News | Society | Sport | Weather