David Dimbleby to be replaced ‘by ChairBot 4000’, BBC reveals

The BBC has revealed today that it is turning to artificial intelligence in its search to find an adequate replacement for David Dimbleby, the departing host of Question Time.

Dimbleby, 79, announced his impending departure this week, triggering a flurry of speculation over who would take over as chair of the popular show. However BBC insiders have revealed they are less than impressed with the candidates reportedly in the running. A production executive told The Liberator:

“It’s ludicrous, really – how the hell are you going to replace David Dimbleby? It can’t be done. Well, certainly not by a human, anyway – none of the people being touted are fit to tie his shoelaces.”

The source then went on to disclose a back-up plan that has apparently been in the works for some time, saying:

“We knew this day would come – he can’t go on forever. That’s why we took the decision several years ago to start investing heavily in AI. We were particularly interested in trying to build something that could one day take over as the host of a flagship political debate programme. Today, we’re pleased to announce that it’s finally ready – we call it the ChairBot 4000.”

Although details remain scarce regarding this groundbreaking technology, insiders told The Liberator that the AI is housed in a humanoid body, not unlike that of a ‘Cylon’ from the 1970s TV show Battlestar Galactica. However they were keen to emphasise it’s debate marshalling prowess over it’s appearance:

“It is relentlessly impartial” our source continued. “A machine designed from ground up to be the ultimate objective debate chair, giving equal time and weighting to all and even chiming in with the occasional well-received quip. In other words, about as close as you can get to David without cloning him, and lord knows that would have definitely been our first preference”.

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