Chris Grayling says nationalised rail ‘not a thing’

Chris Grayling has sensationally denied the existence of any country that runs their own railway system, sources revealed today. In off-the-cuff remarks to a colleague during a working lunch, he was heard to have said that state-owned railways are ‘not a thing’.

When it was pointed out to him that several European states such as Germany, Sweden and The Netherlands all had unified state-owned rail services, Mr. Grayling denied having ever heard of any of the countries mentioned. He then proceeded to cup his hands over his ears and sing at an audible volume.

Labour Shadow Secretary of State for Transport Andy McDonald told The Liberator: “Failing Grayling seems to have finally lost it. First he let down the hard working people of this country through weeks of transport chaos, then he let others fall on his sword for it, and now he’s denying the existence of half of the European continent. A Labour government would not only re-nationalise our railways, but would also launch a new public information campaign aimed at convincing people that Germany is indeed a place.”

Mr. Grayling was asked to comment but declined to respond.

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