An exciting new summer camp that helps relatively privileged yet untalented people come to terms with the fact they may never be rich, famous, or insanely popular on Instagram, will open later this year.
The facility, set in a tranquil location deep in the Lake District, will teach average individuals how to embrace the fact they are wholly unremarkable in every respect. Camp staff have disclosed that the standard syllabus includes seminars entitled “There’s A Reason You Aren’t CEO” and “No, You Aren’t A Genius Just Because Your Mother Said So.”
Multi-millionaire founder James Somuscash, 24, believes people should strive to empower themselves by setting achievable goals that enhance their wellbeing rather than chase money and media attention.
“Some people have accused me of exploiting disillusioned, depressed graduates,” he continued. “I don’t think that’s fair. My last venture, a self-care app that encourages mindfulness via organic quinoa growing, only made me £150K in its first 12 months.”
“There’s a real gap in the market,” said Camp Mediocre’s marketing manager, Toni Robbins. “These people aren’t mentally ill. They just find it hard – really hard – to live a mundane life knowing that they probably won’t excel at anything.”
The Camp has a strict set of entry criteria. Programme participants must be between 23-35 years of age, in a stable and well-paid job that makes them want to cry, and vague but pervasive dreams of doing something that elicits them critical acclaim and lots of money. Priority will be given to those who graduated with a degree in arts-based disciplines.