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Arm Absolutely Fucking Everyone, Says NRA

America has collectively voiced its shock and confusion today as another mass-shooting took place at a gaming event in Florida. The tragic event purportedly occurred after David Katz, 24, lost a video game to a rival player and began firing in an apparent act of revenge.

This latest of many mass-shootings in America in recent years has left absolutely everyone scratching their heads as to what could be causing the problem. The Liberator took to the streets of the US to gauge public opinion on this issue in the most scientific and objective way possible: the vox pop. Here are some sample replies:

Respondent A: “Well it’s not the guns that are the problem, that much is obvious. Personally, I blame this ‘music television’ the young people all seem to be so fond of.”

Respondent B:”It’s a total mystery, really. I just don’t get it. We’re one of the most heavily armed, militarised countries in the world, I just assumed that would make us totally safe. What do all the other countries do when they have a mass-shooting every month?”

Respondent C: “No doubt the liberals will be talking about gun control now. You can’t just amend a constitution, dummies!”

Respondent D: “As an NRA member, I can only think of one effective solution to this problem. We arm absolutely everyone. Everyone gets all the same weapons and munitions and is forced to train, from birth, in how to be a ruthless killer. That way, if anyone in America so much as twitches in an aggressive manner, a good guy with a gun will be there to end their life. It’s the ultimate act of pre-emptive citizen justice. Sure, a lot of people will die when they were just innocently reaching for a hanky, but trust me, it’s the only solution.”

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